New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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