You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
