Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
