We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
