Your tits are I can't wait for
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
