I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
