I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize