Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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