The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
