And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
