ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
