i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
