I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
