what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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