we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
