Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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