Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
