so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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