I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
