So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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