where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
