I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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