the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
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