Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
