i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
