The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
