I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
