If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
