ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
