As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
