How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
