I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
