ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
