I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
