More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We are two peas in an std pod
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
