Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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