Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
why do cheetos always look like penises
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
