I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
