Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Congratulations! We have a period
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