True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
