the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
