love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
NoShamevember. You game?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
