South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
