You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
