see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
