It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
