There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
