Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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