he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
