So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
