she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
someone owes me an orgasm
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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